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時間の富

時間は水のようです、光陰矢の如し、この謎の世界、私達はこの世界最高級の生物が、この生物は彼らを大切に靑春というものは、思い出すたびに時間、どのみち私の一種の感覚だにもかかわらず

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Munggo with Gata and Kalabasa (mung beans with coconut milk and squash)


The windows of our bedrooms face due east so we get the sunrise every day. As much a sunrise as you can get in the middle of the city. Which, actually, has its own special magic…at least to me. Rays of light suddenly bursting into being like so many bright yellow arms reaching around towers of concrete, all at once being reflected and fractured and reflected again, like a beam going through a thousand prisms, against the steel and glass of the stalwart urban sentinels I call my neighbors.

I love the dawn. Even if, despite all my best efforts and intentions, I am still not naturally a morning person. I struggle to wake up, greedily and groggily clinging to the last vestiges of my slumber. I try vainly to develop and internal body clock. To date, much to my frustration, it hasn’t kicked in. Perhaps that’s why I love having the morning’s new light creep through my bedroom shades, its fingers coaxing me out from under the covers.

Dawn, unlike any other time of the day, is filled with such golden promise. Old melancholies fade away and new potential beckons. It is that short, sweet, moment that light has resolutely claimed from darkness, but in which the whisper and allure of dreams still somehow hold subtle sway. In the calm before the clamor of the rest of the world crashes in, you can hear the voices that tell you to believe in what lies in the deepest places of your heart, and in that magic hush anything is possible.

This dish is not something I would typically associate with the dawn, but it is a great comfort food. A hot bowl of this, scooped over a generous serving of rice, can put me in the same calm place.

Munggo with Gata and Kalabasa
(mung beans with coconut milk and squash)

200 grams munggo (mung beans)
1 bay leaf
2 red onions, peeled, one chopped and one quartered
1 inch piece of ginger, peeled and sliced
Canola oil (or any other mildly flavored vegetable oil)
5 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped
1/4 cup hibe (small dried shrimp)
400 ml coconut milk
450 gram wedge of squash, peeled and chopped into about 1-inch cubes (350 grams, cut weight)
1 bunch malunggay (moringa), leaves picked (yields about 2 cups leaves)
1/2 – 1 tablespoon patis (fish sauce)

- Rinse munggo and pick through for little stones. After I check for stones I like to rinse the beans through a sieve to get rid of any dirt.
- Place munggo, bay leaf, the quartered onion, and the ginger in a saucepan or pot that will hold double its volume. Cover with cool water until about 2 inches above the beans. Set pot on medium heat, cover, and cook until beans are soft. This can take anywhere from 30 minutes – 1 hour (depending on how old your beans are). Check occasionally and stir to make sure it is not drying out and sticking. If it seems to be drying out just add more water. Once the beans are soft, set aside. At this point the level of liquid should be just at the same level as the beans.
- Heat a kawali (wok) or saucepan over medium-high heat. Add a few swirls of canola oil and, when hot, add the chopped onion and garlic. Sautee, stirring, until the onion is soft and transluscent. Add the hibe and keep sautéing until the shrimp is coated in the oil and takes on a little moisture. Add the cooked munggo and its liquid, the coconut milk, and the squash. Turn the heat down to low. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the squash is softened. Add the malunggay leaves and cook for about 15 minutes more.
- Season to taste with the patis (fish sauce). You may need less or more depending on how salty you hibe is. Give it a final stir and take off the heat.
- Serve hot with lots of steamed rice.

I love munggo. I also love coconut milk. The two together work brilliantly. The coconut milk’s silky creaminess is perfect with the munggo’s earthiness. The hibe and the fish sauce give it a rounded savory depth that salt would not be able to replicate. If you can’t find hibe where you are, just adjust the seasoning with a bit more fish sauce. If you can't find malunggay you can use sweet potato leaves or, failing that, spinach. Between the munggo, malunggay, and the squash, this is not only deliciously comforting, but highly nutritious as well. If I weren’t feeding a little one, I also would throw in a couple of green finger chilis (sili pangsigang) to the pot.

I’ve been working on training my body clock to rise “with the sun”. I love those days that I am able to. I sit at my desk, an espresso with steamed milk at my side, its aroma waking my senses up. I raise the shades to let in the new morning. My family is sleeping and the streets below my window have yet to fill with their usual bustle. I hear my dreams whisper to me and, because it is so quiet, I listen in ways I cannot during the rest of the day. And I whisper back.
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父親

一直想寫寫我的父親,卻遲遲無法落筆,只因這清淺的文字,承擔不起如山父愛的厚重,凝重的牽念一直蕩漾在心海與午夜夢回。回首一路走來父愛陪伴的點點滴滴,難眠的夜晚,不知多少次夢中淚水浸濕了枕巾。經歷了人生的春和夏,品讀父愛,如海一樣的深沉,如茶一樣的回味悠遠。

父親出生在農村一個貧苦的家庭,在那個缺衣少糧,朝不保夕的迪士尼樂園門票年代,身為長子的父親,以堅韌的性格,半農半讀中完成了學業,十八歲參加工作,開始了他三尺講臺的生涯。

印象中的父親是極為嚴厲的。一身樸素的中山裝,上衣口袋別著一支鋼筆,一臉嚴肅的表情很少能看到他的笑容,卻依然不失他的俊朗。對我們的愛屬於那種暖水瓶似的——外冷裏熱。記得小時候,家裏兄妹四人,只要看到父親的一臉嚴肅,都小心翼翼的做事,生怕做錯了遭到父親的訓斥。只要我們其中一個犯了錯誤,都要被一起罰跪,直到承認錯誤為止。因為我是家裏最小的,自然幸運的成了父親寵愛的女兒,從未被打過。也唯有我趁著父親臉上露出笑容時,敢“無法無天”的和父親“頂撞”幾句,膩在父親的身邊。父親也總是被我的一堆“大道理”說得“無言以對”,臉上綻放的笑容格外溫暖,小時候的我,常以此為榮。

一次父親出差回來,給我買了一件藍格毛衣,一條粉色的褲子,母親說,家裏四個兒女,這是父親第一次給孩子買衣服。那時家境不好,我又是最小的,穿的都是姐姐穿剩的衣服。看著父親給我買的新衣服,高興得晚上都沒捨得脫下,一夜沒睡好覺,在哥哥姐姐面前一痛顯擺,心裏那個美啊!每次看電影我都鬧著不愛走路讓父親背,趴在父親暖暖的背上,不知不覺就睡著了,這是哥哥姐姐很少享受過的待遇,常常是我在他們面前炫耀的“資本”。嚴厲的父親,對我的寵愛至今無法忘懷,回想起來依舊是那樣的溫暖如初。

父親雖然嚴厲,但不輕易指責我們。對待我們就像對待他的學生一樣,每週都會把這周的表現或是錯誤總結起來,一一的上“政治課”。我們都不敢抬頭正視父親的眼神,但心裏被父親細心認真、嚴厲的態度和教誨所折服,更加增添我們對他的敬意!

記得上小學三年級的時候,教我的班主任是父親的同事,又是多年相處往來的鄰居,和父親年紀相仿。而我唯一不喜歡他的地方是對我們學生的作業不認真批改,甚至學生的作文很少批閱。我曾幾次向父親提起轉班的事,都被父親拒絕了。老師幾次來家裏閒聊的玩笑中,逗我做他家的兒媳,本來對他就不滿的我,言語中強烈的頂撞了他,老師面色尷尬的康泰旅行社走了,為此父親大發雷霆嚴厲的批評了我的無禮。第二天花了五元錢在飯店請老師吃的飯,表示了歉意。要知道,那時的五元錢,能買很多的東西,為此,我後悔好一段時間。然而父親“一日為師,終身為父”深刻的一句話,令我終生難忘!

家裏的房屋後面是一塊菜地,每逢週末,父親bei地(用鎬頭將土地培成一行一行的壟)我澆水,瘦小的我還沒有鎬頭高,笨笨的學著父親bei地的樣子。記得父親常說,“做人就像bei地一樣,要端正,bei的壟才直,而一個人就像成長中的樹,不斷地給自己修剪枝丫,才能筆直的生長成參天大樹!”那時,我常常被父親誇獎,說我是悟性強的孩子,學習認真,每每聽到父親的表揚,我便像個歡呼雀躍的小鳥,高興得嘰嘰喳喳不停。而父親那些教導的話,直到長大時,才略懂其中的蘊含。也正是父親的教誨,一直引領著我做人的方向,前行的路上,像一盞啟明星,指引著我向前。可以說,父親的堂堂正正做人,踏踏實實做事的態度,一直影響著我的一生。

講臺上他的嚴肅認真更使學生們靜而生畏,特別是他嚴厲的眼神,對每個犯了錯誤的學生,更是沒有膽量隱藏或是狡辯自己的過錯。平日裏,哪個學生沒有本子和筆了,父親都會悄悄的送到面前,哪個學生病了,他也會細心的照顧。因為當時家裏也面臨困難的窘境,力不從心,父親也只能從小事上給予學生們的關心和幫助。因此他認真負責的態度和愛心,也博得了大家對他的尊重。

我十多歲的時候 ,父親教了五年的一個學生,大學畢業分配了工作,來家裏看望父親。那時我才知道,是父親的支持幫助完成了他五年的學業。由於家裏貧困兄妹多,幾次想輟學都被父親勸回。夏天他光著腳走路,冬天穿著一雙露著腳跟的鞋,寫字的鉛筆更是用得無法再用,父親見他聰明好學,看到他就想起自己的當年上學的情景,實在不忍心一個孩子的前途就此斷送。悄悄地從家裏拿來衣服、鞋,和鉛筆,不斷的鼓勵幫助,支持他完成了五年的關鍵時期。他是個男孩,淘氣上課不認真聽講的時候,不止一次的被父親打過。而父親當年的嚴厲和認真負責的態度,以及對他的幫助鼓勵,成了他飯桌上最多感激的語言,不禁熱淚盈眶。 那一刻,在父親的身上,讓我看到了一個教師的責任和對學生父親般的愛。瞬間,父親的形象在我幼小的心靈上那麼高大和自豪!深深的讓我懂得“做人為本,責任為首”的道理,也深深的刻在我的腦海之中。

正直的父親從不會阿諛奉承,所謂的溜鬚拍馬更是無從談起,各單位父親熟悉的人,很多人利用關係為子女找了工作,唯獨父親不願低三下四的求人辦事,違背原則的事更是不能提及,以至於有人說父親過於古板。朋友也勸父親,教育事業單位沒什麼發展,試圖想讓父親調到企業單位,既有發展工資也高。父親對此毫無動搖,依然一心的備課,做教案,批改學生的作業。把精力一心一意的放在了教育事業上。父親的兢兢業業,同事看在眼裏,領導記與心間。不久便讓父親去另一所學校當校長,分給父親一套房子和足夠一家吃用的土地,這對於當年家境還貧困的情況下來說,這樣的機會無疑是多麼的彌足而珍貴。父親不顧母親對他態度的反對和眾多人的不理解,而拒絕了校領導的關心。理由是不想被人誤解他是因利益而去的,不想留下以權謀私的罵名。學生走了一屆又一屆,領導換了一茬又一茬,父親的正直博得大家尊重的同時,讓我也懂得了清清白白做人,本本分分做事的道理,他不屈的脊樑和做人的尊嚴像一面旗幟永遠的屹立在我的心中,像一杆尺規,時刻丈量著我做人的尺度。

我們兄妹四人,相繼有了各自的家庭,父親也逐漸年紀大了。退休在家和母親養養雞、鴨、鵝,打理著菜園子。沒事照看著孫子寫寫作業學學習,成了父親最大的快樂。每隔一段時間,大包小包給我們送這送那的,生怕我們少吃一口。每次聽說我們要回去,早早就準備好一堆吃的用的。一輩子對自己吝嗇得捨不得花一分錢的父親,可為了我們,卻願意傾其所有,只要我們幸福,成了他最大的滿足!“學好數理化,不如有個好爸爸”,這是我十幾歲時社會流行的菲傭一句話,父親說的時候,流露出深感內疚的表情。然而確切的說,是我們辜負了父親對我們的殷切期望!雖然父親沒有給於我們奢侈富足的生活,但他以身作則留給我們的深深教誨,是一筆用金錢無法衡量的財富!以艱苦樸素的作風高尚的師德培育了一代又一代,以博大的胸懷容納所有的一切,把美好的歲月和一生的希望都給了子女,唯把苦痛永遠的鎖入歲月的年輪。以無言的父愛,溫暖著我們的年年歲歲,以無言的父愛,詮釋了淡泊名利正直的一生,我無法臨摹的一生。

靜靜的聆聽著歲月的過往,深深的感受著父愛的深重,經歷了人生的春和夏才知道,父親曾經的年輕,已經離我們越來越遠。歲月太匆匆,無情的奪走了父親曾經的偉岸,逐漸變得步履蹣跚,發已斑白。突然之間發現,三尺講臺前,再也看不見當年父親的嚴慈,我再也不能陪他自如的走路聊天聽他的教誨,家的門口,再也看不到提著大包小包父親的身影,再也看不到父親帶著眼鏡看報紙的樣子。幾度花開花謝,寒來暑往,那些生命中的感動永遠地留在了記憶當中,無法磨滅! 感懷至深!

每次陪在父親身邊的時候,父親尤為高興,喜悅之情溢於言表。給父親刮刮鬍子,剪剪頭,為父親泡泡腳,剪剪指甲,那一刻像個聽話的孩子,七十四歲的老父親,臉上流露出慈祥的笑容。歲月的無情,儼然磨平了父親年輕的輪廓,消減了當年的銳氣,留下深深淺淺歲月的痕跡。面對父親的日漸蒼老,成了我無能為力的現實,成了我一生的心疼!那一刻,如果可以,我寧願用自己的十年或二十年,來換回父親曾經的年輕。我可以陪同您一起去領略一下五嶽三山的風光,長江黃河的博大,去感受一下九寨溝的神奇,內蒙古草原的遼闊;那一刻,我好想做您的一根拐杖,您永遠可以依靠的拐杖,陪您共同走過一年四季。看春柳發芽,梨樹花開;觀小橋流水,聽蛙聲鳥鳴;望麥浪起伏,落英繽紛;聽雪落無聲,飄灑著父愛的四季深情。我的父親啊!您那深藏在心底如山的愛,令我溫暖一生,感動一生!叫我如何不懷念那座父親的城!

“總是向你索取,卻不曾說謝謝你,直到長大後才懂得你的不易,多想和以前一樣,牽你溫柔的手掌,時光時光慢些吧,不要再讓你變老,我願用我的一切,換你歲月長流”一首《父親》,聽得不禁鼻尖酸澀,淚水溢滿心間。難眠的夜晚睡夢中,再次夢見小時候父親背著我去看電影的情景,趴在父親暖暖的後背上不知不覺睡著了;夢見一個風輕雲淡的日子,我陪著父親緩緩前行。醒來,淚水早已浸濕了枕巾,再次無語凝噎,淚流滿面······

Grow up

Look over the winter linger in the skies over the city, hate not to give it a butter bread + two raw egg, then into 2 blocks of 5 bottles of Beijing Erguotou warm.

The one three year is coming to an end, in my feet, then wash the socks, then pour the water that wash a foot, then someone says countdown! For is not to understand, to say goodbye before one three years. One four years to be lost to all sense of shame. The window was the sound of fireworks told me: small fart child! You just said goodbye, not goodbye, only to do is to make myself happy in one four years, you know! Yeah, I'm happy. But they found in front of the mirror, forced smile how could not hide a hint of sadness and Men clothing styles.

I really grow up you.

Before New Year's Day was always happy, because this day the town there are always people who get married, people get married means the beautiful bride, a beautiful bride would mean at least 6 beautiful maid of honor. There are beautiful Bridesmaid can flirt, of course, very happy. Cousin married last year, to a little late, just into the new premises will see a base put an arm around with a girl, was furious, pointing to a base shouted: beast, let go of the two girls, let me! Girls immediately smile. But shame, met a talking girl, brother was almost Ya trafficking to her good sisters, thanks to the timely grandma, grandma said: "two ah, your cousin drunk, to accompany him to the bar! Also, your father gave you find a good wife, don't cheat others girl here. Is to be defeated and flee quickly. After drinking to remember the 2 class, heart a ruthless, wearing a beige windbreaker, open my 2 round of BMW Shopping in Hong Kong, plunge into the absolute black winter night, went to 20 kilometers outside I think an atomic bomb to destroy the second.

Because of drinking, second day of natural sleep wake up, just down the hall, was soil emperor seized: "boy, this is one three years, how do you complete with zero three years!" Depend, I and you know less than a year good, my zero three years of what you know, heart think so, head on a cool, he hands a top hat of little girl, then remembered that last night cold, the eldest sister home girl's hat. Grabbed a hat and ran towards the classroom, the emperor to soil behind the voice: "after six months on the college entrance examination!"

54 meters high altitude falling, good physical said in just 3 seconds, I feel from the soil of the emperor said another 6 months of college entrance examination that sentence to now, also is only 3 seconds. In this 3 seconds, I seem to grow up a lot. Gratitude is a poison to kill, at that moment, he had a dream, and is a nightmare. The nine nine said, Dutch act were lost angel, they could not resist this destruction, will proceed without hesitation to heaven. But I think, for an instant the near death, they must not proceed without hesitation, because everybody knows, the real paradise always in the world.

When I was small, the witch told me, the evening walk to remember to take a lit sandalwood, so will not see not clean things, I said that people do not take, she said the child eye clean, adults are not the same. I'm not fully understand, but I know that the witch would not lie to me, she is so kind man, and all within the book, TV there is nothing like the witch. I still don't get the sandalwood, because television is said incense is a ghost. Just in the past one three years, I often go to a person in the midnight insomnia playing in the street, from the second gate is squeezed out is a street, but I what do not clean is not seen Veda Salon, but once met a pair of lovers in late at night under the lights kiss a murky sky over a dark earth.

Perhaps, I really grew up.

University is a bad place, all kinds of happiness. I have no sun, and occasionally in the heaven accidentally released winter sun under the sun I unique Markov alone. But my sun is entirely in order to not moldy, so I am afraid of sun dehydration. Wong Kar Wai said that there is a bird without legs the world, it only can always fly fly, fly in the wind on the tired. Sleep, once this bird life only, and that time is when it dies. I think who would be so silly, willing to do such a bird! But X said the world, only a fool would not do such a bird. And I, always do not understand what I Is it right? A fool.

Alone in the Qing Huan


The reincarnation of the season, we will provide the leaves and the injury autumn, these experienced vicissitudes of the leavesproduct labeling
, gave the world the most perfect foil, if do not have these graceful posture, and how can there be Ningmou freehand brushwork in traditional Chinese painting, it is a bustling silhouette, is after the maturity of the precipitation, is to know the free and easy. Leaves not sad, because it knows more about the years alternate, tactful to leave is the best choice. Parting, just to go out not to belong to own season.

Life is constantly rising in the parting, mature in the parting, strong lives is because there are more affordable, just let us know how to cherish, how to have. We leave school with teachers and classmates, will not give. To the society were parents, will not give. The life always has more pull on the situation, but to live, we have no choice, life need to create their ownCCIBA
, life need go. And every parting, although the injury, but is going to another happy beginning.

Life is our carrier, life does not accommodate who, not to anyone, we love it, it will be good for us, will give us happiness. Most of the frustrations in life, will be overcome, as long as the unremitting efforts, with strong out of the way, always feel the Gou Gou kankam nothing. Life setback, often against us for a while, but it's like a river, as long as we thought, there must be a method to. Refuse to weak, will be able to walk out of a heavenly life.

Life is like a book, need to slowly tasteMen fashion, hard to understand, to read out the flavor. He is not a single living, and we walk and responsibility, and relatives and friends, their happy is our happiness. Always think, if you have a good heart, will certainly be able to infect the world, when change our behavior is a time of laughter, really appreciate what is worth. Infection of others at the same time, we gain the same happiness.

花开有时


【一】

电影院门口的花坛里有几株栀子花,我注意它们很多天了。那天上班的路上,无意间在那丛郁郁葱葱的绿植中,发现角落有几株长出青绿色的花苞,我惊喜地发现是栀子花。后来每天上班经过的时候,我都会走近了去看它们几眼,心下盼着,快些看到它们开花的样子。因为有了这份念想,走了无数遍的上班路途,变得明媚而温暖起来。对于栀子花的喜欢,要追溯到童年的时候。老家是农村,风景说不上有多好,但跟城市的钢筋水泥比起来,也算得上是山明水秀。一年四季的田间地头,长满了不知名的野花野草,装点了童年的记忆。关于那些花的记忆,若是全都写上的话,只怕是三天三夜,也是写不完。有时候梦到回乡的场景,回眸的时刻,目光总会停留在一朵带着露珠的野花上,久久凝望。我叫不出它具体的名字,我只知道它的姓氏,是故乡。且不说那漫山遍野的映山红,有多么的招姑娘们的喜欢;也不说那香气四溢的雏菊,芬芳过多少萧瑟清秋里的农家小院;就说这栀子花,单是那抹无暇的洁白,开在芳菲渐尽的四月里,已足以吸引所有的目光为她驻足,何况,还有它独有的沁人心脾的香气。

【二】

童年的四月和五月,是属于栀子花的月份。房前屋后,阳台书桌上,都被栀子花的香味包围,整个村子像是一棵巨大的栀子花树,住在村子里,像住在繁茂的栀子花海里。栀子花不能算是野花,因为在我的印象里,大都是开在农家小院的角落里,或是房前屋后的空地上。若隐若现的洁白,点缀在满树翠绿的叶子中间,香气弥漫方圆几十米。我家老屋门前的空地很小,除去晾晒衣服的地方,母亲在角落里用砖头搭起了一个简陋的鸡棚,没有一点多余的地方,用来种植没有实际用途的花花草草,哪怕是母亲和奶奶都很喜欢的栀子花。对她们来说,养一窝能下蛋的鸡,远比种一棵栀子花要重要的多。隔壁家的院子里种了好几株栀子花树,每年一到四月的时候,每次路过隔壁家院子门口时,总忍不住把头探进院子里,朝着栀子花树的方向望几眼。有时,趁着院子里没人的时候,就快速地溜进去,从那枝头上揪下几个青绿色的花苞,在那只被拴住的大黑狗的狂吠声中,掉头就跑。回到家找个白瓷碗装上清水,把花苞放进去,漂浮在水面上,用不了几天,那青绿色渐渐褪去,慢慢变得洁白,一点点在碗里盛开。

全部开起来时,整个房间里,都是淡淡清雅的香气。母亲若是看到了,问我这花是从哪里来的,我是不能说实话的。隔壁与我家虽是亲戚,是爷爷哥哥的几个儿子,还有大奶奶,但是在我很小的时候,他家建房子的时候,把院子的围墙圈到了我家门口的地面上,为了争这方寸之地,父母跟他们发生了很激烈的争吵,后来各自退让一步,门前的空地没有被他们占去很多,但是从那以后,两家人之间便不曾有过来往。血缘上的亲戚关系,抵不过现实中一块小小的土地。但是大人们之间的矛盾,丝毫不影响我对隔壁家院子里栀子花的喜欢。在小小的我眼里面,他们家的栀子花,与街上卖的栀子花没有任何的区别,即便母亲曾一次次告诉我,要是敢去折他们家栀子花的话,小心一顿好打。我还是一次次冒着被母亲挥着手中的树枝追打的危险,将隔壁院子里的栀子花偷到家里的窗台上。而隔壁家的堂姐们,有时见我眼巴巴望着院子里的栀子花,也会摘一把长出了白色的花苞,走过来塞到我手里,说,别跟你妈说是我给的,不然她又骂你。我把花苞攥得紧紧的,飞快地跑回家牛欄牌奶粉

【三】

其实不光是我,村里的女人们,也都是极为喜欢栀子花的。童年的记忆里,每到栀子花开的季节,上到头发花白的老婆婆,下至蹒跚学步的小女孩,发间或是衣服领子上,都会别着一朵绽放的栀子花,有时候手里面,还会再攥上一朵,走到哪里,就将香味带到哪里。栀子花一开,村里所有的女人,都变成了走动的栀子花。不,她们比栀子花还美。因为平日里的劳作,她们的皮肤被晒得黝黑,胳膊和腿也结实而粗壮,没有书上写的女子婉约之美,但是这是健康之美,劳动之美。男人们大都为了养家糊口出门在外打工,家里的农活,就都落到了女人们的身上。这些能干的女人们,将田间地头打理得生机盎然,水稻油菜麦子棉花,一样也不落下。菜地里的蔬菜更是多得吃不完,有的挑到街上去卖,卖不掉的,就洗洗晒干,丢到坛子里洒上一把盐,过个十天半月,就成了一坛子香脆可口的咸菜。一家人的日子,在女人们勤劳的双手下,过得风生水起。男人们赚回家的钱,一般都用在孩子们的学费上,或是给庄稼买肥料上,一点也不会乱花,日子过得紧紧巴巴。可是到了栀子花开的时候,那年迈的老婆婆跨上一篮子水灵灵的花朵,往那一排郁郁葱葱的蔬菜间一摆,扬起声音叫卖,价格不贵,一毛钱一把。

不一会的功夫,便销售一空。奶奶和母亲便时常买栀子花,一碗花开了,渐渐泛黄,就换一碗新的花苞,几乎不会断。早上起床之后,母亲给我梳头前,从碗里取出一朵开了的栀子花放在一旁,马尾绑好之后,将花朵别进皮筋里,被乌黑的头发一衬托,显得更加的洁白。那时只有到过年的时候,母亲才会舍得拿出几块钱,从小摊上给我和妹妹各买一两朵头花,而她自己,连发夹都不舍得买一个。便宜的栀子花,是我们共同的饰品。母亲的头发有些自来卷,乌黑浓密,即便是用一根红绳子缠绕的皮筋随意绑在脑后,也很好看。有了栀子花的装饰之后,就更加的美康泰導遊。奶奶那时总是齐耳的短发,梳得一丝不乱,用一根黑色的发箍箍住,齐齐地压在耳后,用一枚黑夹子将栀子花根部别在耳边的发箍上,看起来干净而清爽。奶奶守了大半辈子的寡,过了一辈子清苦的日子,栀子花是她唯一的装饰品。

【四】

我种过一棵栀子花树,或者更确切的地说,是很多棵,可是只有这一棵成活了。我的栀子花树种在叔叔家的后门口,上小学时,我跟着奶奶住在叔叔家。那时,父亲和母亲带着弟弟外出打工,我因为要上学,就跟着奶奶住。叔叔家的房子是奶奶赚的钱建的,父亲成家的时候,叔叔还小,奶奶就跟着村里的人们,去江浙一带富庶的地方要饭。说是要饭,其实大多时候,要到的都是米,也有钱。奶奶把要来的米换成钱,加上要来的零钱,几年下来,居然存了不小的一笔。再从亲戚家东拼西凑一点,叔叔那两间平房,就这么建了起来。若是没有这几间房子,叔叔估计连亲也是娶不到的。房子建好那天,奶奶总算松了一口气。房子坐落在穿村而过的那条大河边,大门朝着河水,打开后门,是一片广袤的田地。屋后有不大的一块空地,我是极为欢喜的。央着奶奶从别人家讨来一株栀子花苗,兴奋地找来铁锹挖出一个土坑,小心翼翼地将花苗种植起来。之后每天给它浇水,用鸡粪施肥,盼着它早日长大。

可是没想到欲速则不达,种了好几株,都活了没多久就发黄枯死了,后来才知道,是浇水施肥太勤了,栀子花是不需要太多肥料的。后来种了一棵就不大去管了,只是看见它的叶子上有虫眼的时候,抓一抓趴在枝干上肥大的青虫,偶尔施一点点的肥,竟真的成活了。这棵栀子花树到现在还活着。去年过年回家的时候,我看见了它,长得比我还要高,叶子是墨绿的,看起来很有生命力,我站在树下,想象着它开花的样子,一树的洁白,极其的美。可惜的是奶奶已经去世了,叔叔一家常年在外,而我,也只有在过年的时候才会回一趟家。到了栀子花开的时候,家里已是空无一人。这满树的花朵,守着空荡荡的屋子,寂寞地开败。

【五】

离家以后就很少见到栀子花了,每次回家的时候都是过年,别说栀子花,就连田间地头的野花,也是见不到的。到过的几个城市,虽然都有不同程度的城市绿化,一年四季,路边的绿植里,少不了的姹紫嫣红,三色堇,杜鹃,格桑花,太阳花,菊花……还有很多叫不出名字的,竞相开得鲜艳热烈,但栀子花却是极少的。那些关于栀子花的记忆,随着年纪的增长,渐渐被岁月的尘埃掩盖在遥远的记忆里。电影院门口的那几株栀子花,唤醒了沉睡已久的记忆牛欄牌回收。终于在前几日看到那花苞隐隐露出白色的时候,我忍不住走过去,不顾路人异样的目光,摘下了几朵。

我摘得小心翼翼,没有折下一片叶子,应该没有弄疼栀子花树,我在心里想着,栀子花树,你应该不会怪我的吧,要怪,也只怪我太喜欢你开出的花了。没有白瓷碗,我找来一个有着黄白相间花纹的塑料碗,把栀子花养在里面,放在房间的柜子上。晚上临睡前,闻着房间里淡淡的栀子花香气,思绪涉着这香气,漂到遥远的故乡,久远的童年里。闭上眼睛,开满了栀子花的家乡,那个山明水秀的村子,就这么出现在了眼前。我裹着乡愁,枕着栀子花的香味,酣然入睡。

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